to be depressed

ever feel like you're at the wrong place in life? like, you're sitting where you are but you know you don't belong there but someplace else; and you know in your heart where you SHOULD be, but you can't go there, or you don't know how to get there. there are moments when i love what i'm doing and i think i'm working towards what i want. i even have separate goals for this road, but then there are other moments when i doubt that this is clear to me. that this is truly what i want. at these moments, i don't know whether to tell myself i'm just dreaming or if i'm just telling myself to take a different route.

i still wish that life would be a little easier and have someone point me in the right direction and never look back. but at the same time, i know i would never allow that--to let the fun be taken out of life. 

i know the "correct" path that i'm supposed to be on, the one i had picked out myself. but then there is this "off-road" that i'm yearning to try. i had once talked to a professor of mine of my off-road dreams, and she had told me to go give it a try and that my education will always be here for me to return to. if i never go try it, i will always be wondering, what if? she had no judgement of me, and i'm entirely grateful for that. her advice still resonates in me, and i think i've gotten myself nearly convinced, only except society continually revolves around me, telling me i am only wasting my time.

i know i said a whole lot and you probably still don't know what i'm saying, but that's okay. this week has been depressing for me, rendering me completely uninspired to write anything remotely interesting. so i figured, why not complain on my blog? so i did :)

i love writing for people to read. 

i don't doubt that.