bathroom woes

i was in the bathroom the other day after i had watched a movie with a friend and i was getting myself nice and situated on the toilet and i reach over to grab some toilet paper and i get maybe two squares before it breaks. so i go back and try again and this time, i get one square and then i start getting annoyed. by the time it was my fifth time trying to pull the damn toilet paper out, i was coaxing it to come out...you know, pulling it out very slowly and feigning patience as my butt hangs to dry. by now i probably dont need the toilet paper. but WHAT IF the toilet paper never came out, or it ran out?? im sure there were times when you girls have just dashed into a stall and started to pee without looking over to see if there was toilet paper. then what happens?

well, i've heard of these tales before, but i've never actually done it myself, BUT ONE. and you can guess which one, cuz i ain't tellin you which one.


socks
they say that if you're seriously desperate, then you need to take off a sock [or maybe both, depending on your situation] and use it like napkins. you better pray to god that you wore clean socks that day if you ever decide to do that...


eye glass wipes
the dry cloths...im not talking about the ones lined with alcoholic cleaning stuff. can you imagine?! after that you wouldn't be only having toilet paper issues...


tampons/pads
only if you happen to be that lucky to have a spare lying in your purse somewhere, but really, if you were that lucky, then you would have had toilet paper


butt hang
this one just calls for you to sit there for like, fifteen minutes and let it air dry. simple, sanitary, but just a tad embarrassing if there's people outside waiting for your stall because you're not exactly doing number two either: "sorry! im waiting for my pee to dry!" 


post-its
people carry these around and surprisingly, paper is a good soaker-upper. granted it'll take a couple of swipes, but you'll get there. just remember not to use the sticky side.


im telling you, going abroad as a foreigner teaches you many things, and one of those things is to bring your own tissues. in hong kong, they don't give you napkins so you bring your own. depending on the toilet and the place the toilet is located, they'll have tissue, but mostly, they won't. so you bring your own. i've learned that much...however, there was this one time i had menthol nose tissues with me...it felt breezy, not gonna lie.