new brain teaser game = "where's my soulmate?"

so yesterday, i finally got to sit down and have some face time with my lovely G-ma. usually, she's out playing mahjong with her buddies at their apartments and doesn't come home till after dinner. on the weekends, she out again with her friends to places like NY chinatown or to go grocery shopping in groups [i swear, she has more fun than i do at times] so its not always likely that i'll see her when i come home from school or whatever.

anyway

we got around to talking about dating...go figure. she was talking about her olden days, as per usual. but this time, i really felt rushed. personally, i want a big family of my own. i want four kids, at the most, and i want to get married young. i dont want to be 30 and just have my first kid. i know that plans never always work out perfect, but my ideal age is to get married at 24. and if that were to really happen, it would mean that i would have to start dating someone "husband material" now. at school, i see no potential mate, and by the time i graduate, i would never find someone. i dont want to date someone at work because that always gets messy. but i mean, i only have TWO more years left before i graduate! i remember just leaving HS and thinking i had all the time in the world. all the other adults around me are just like, dont worry, you're still young, you have plenty of time.

plenty of time, yes. i'll live till im 80. but you have to admit that the biological clock doesn't tick that long. lets face it. i dont want to be 50 and have a kid that's 10 because by the time he graduates, i'll probably be so blind that i can't see him walk down the aisle, much less see him get married. by that time, he'll probably want to introduce me to friends as his grandma instead.
i want to be that fashionable young mother who's got the style and the energy to keep up with her kids. i dont want to be stuck with the mom haircut and the mom body which i will gag at every time i look in the mirror.

but the problem is, it's not that i don't try finding "the one." boys nowadays not only have big pants but also egos to match. so is it really that farfetched when my G-ma tells me that a guy who is at least 5 years older than me, is perfect?

pros ||
- he'll be settled - ready with a good paying job and home - no shoe boxes for starters and yes to organic shopping
- wiser - he'll automatically know how to deal with children and diapers and most importantly, a hormonal wife
- has direction - not all, but most men by this time will already have an idea of how they want the rest of their life to go. its good to have goals...bad to have none

cons ||
- he's 8 years older - which means he'll be in a different stage in life. we won't have the same friends which translates as we won't have as much to talk about
- he's 8 years older - which means that he probably won't want to go to the bar with me for drinks anymore and just want to stay in and cuddle in front of a saturday night movie because sundays are reserved for laundry
- he's 8 years older - which means that he'll be ready to get married and have kids by the time i'm 21, which translates to too young for me to have kids

but even before i can rant about all this stuff...

where the hell is he?