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its true...that chinese proverb that says: whatever is not yours, will never be yours. 

i believe horribly in fate, and i've just been schooled, and i can say that i definitely feel upset at myself, and disappointed that i could let it get past me like that. 

i hate to say it, but no matter how much i want to deny it, i know my mother has been right since day one. i'm not cut out for that stuff, and ... mom knows best right? 

perhaps this door has closed on me, but i'm eager to find out if another door will open for me where i found the last one to be closed. i hope that my feelings of disappointment have not been wasted; i want to find something better at the other door.