age doesn't really matter

all this nonsense about birthdays...nothing monumental ever happens in a birthday.

age 1: its your "first" birthday; christmas; and whatever firsts your parents try to give to poor you. the plus side is, you'll never remember it, granted there leaks a photo or two of you being retarded looking in that princess hat...when you're a boy

age 6: your just at that height where you're looking at everyone's crotches. i dont know if that's considered good or bad... but the definite upside is that you're still free at restaurants!

age 8: just a lucky chinese number. suddenly you've become noticed in your family

age 13: you're finally a teen! ...and thats about all. wait no. you can sign up for facebook now.

age 14: your parents can officially make you go to work and earn money for them to spend.

age 16: 3 words for girls--super sweet sixteen. for boys--driving permit

age 17: here is when you're driving permit sort of solidifies. but you still can't drive without an adult over 21, and you still can't drive past midnight...i think

age 18: the uh-oh year. not only can you see a rated-R movie by yourself now, you can vote; you can buy cigarettes; in some states, gamble; AND you can get yourself screwed in vegas and get married on a whim. but you might get drafted...so hold that thought.

age 19-20: the second year of college...you realize that sophomore year is gonna be super hard but super fun with parties. also, you're not really going anywhere from 18 and you're not really there to 21 yet. so it sucks.

age 21: !! everything and more. you can smoke, DRINK, go to a club without the need for a fake ID, gamble, ...and etc.

age 22: realize that you're about to graduate from college, that you still don't know what you're doing with your life, and that you still need to get a real job.

age 25: ...you can rent a car

THEN drop down to your 40s because your 30s is just the meaningless 'i hate my job' stage

age 40: your mid-life crisis. you go out and buy a red convertible

age 65: congratulations, you're a senior citizen

*its always nice to be a kid*